Salutations, Internet community!

I'm rather unversed in the proper method of correctly addressing large groups of anonymous people, so please bear that in mind as you read through my first clumsy effort at blogging. I recently read an old German proverb that stated something to the effect that "Beauty is the best introduction." So, I've clearly already failed in that department. Let's see if I can salvage what's left.

But I digress. (You caught me, I only said that so I could feel like Blathers from Animal Crossing. I may begin asking you to turn over your fossils and fish later on. Just a heads up.)

At first I thought it would be worthwhile to do some sort of self-introduction, but the more I think about it, the more I realize the best way for you doodz to get to know me is just through my future updates.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

So, I'll start things off right now by discussing E3, which is, as I'm sure some of you are aware, the single greatest week of the year. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, E3 stands for Electronic Entertainment Expo, and it's the largest video game tradeshow of the year. Essentially, it's a massive celebration of everything that I care about, with the climax (for me) being Nintendo's press conference. I'll discuss some of my personal highlights:

Announcement of the 3DS: Seriously, this thing has the potential to be even bigger than its predecessor, if such a thing even bears contemplating. Touch Screen? Check. 3D screen? Check. Graphics that rival the Wii? On a handheld? Check. Announcement of Zelda, Mario Kart, Animal Crossing, Nintendogs, Star Fox, Metal Gear Solid, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Dragon Quest, Resident Evil, and pretty much every game you could want for the thing? HOLY EFFING CHECK.

Announcement of the new Zelda: This is a shoe-in for almost all "Best of E3" lists, regardless of who you talk to." Before I saw Skyward Sword, I had two main wishes. 1) That it's art style would be more in the line of Wind Waker than Twilight Princess, and 2) It would change the venerable formula of "Dungeon-->Weapon-->Boss-->Overworld quest, wash, rinse, repeat." Miraculously, it seems like both my wishes came true.

Kirby's Epic Yarn: A Kirby game? Yes please. A Kirby game that appears entirely made out of yarn that somehow manages to make Kirby even more adorable than he already is? DAY 1, INTERNET, DAY 1.

There are dozens and dozens of other E3 factoids I could spend the better part of a week discussing, but I'll spare you, since there's more I wish to cover.

PLEASE LET ME SHOW YOU THEM

Inanities beat me to the punch with her Pokemon teams, but not to be outdone, I'd like to go through a team of my own.

When I started competitive Pokemon, I realized that my first goal would simply be raising a fairly well balanced, competitive team of my favorite critters, before I inevitably got sucked into crafting teams with strategy solely in mind. So, here it is:

Lead: Crobat. You know you're talking to some sort of freak when their favorite real life animal is a bat. Perhaps I say too much. Nonetheless, Crobat is a solid lead, and using its speed alongside moves like Brave Bird and Super Fang can leave a dent in even the bulkiest Pokemon it finds itself up against.

Physical Sweeper: Arcanine. Yeah, yeah, I know, Arcanine is vastly outclassed by many other Pokemon as a heavy hitter, but are any of them as awesome looking as Arcanine? Or as loyal? Yeah, I thought not.

Mixed Sweeper: Kingdra. Dang, but I love this thing. With its Swift Swim ability and carrying Rain Dance, get prepared to be hit hard and fast. Regardless of whether you're physically bulky or specially bulky, Kingdra's prepared.

Special Sweeper: Magnezone. One of the few electric types that actually appeals to me, Magnezone occupies a valuable position on my team. It has phenomenal typing that lend it resistances to 13 of the 17 types, and the use of Magnet Rise alleviates its ground type weakness.

Bulk: Umbreon. My single favorite Pokemon in existence, and a considerable threat, too. With my Cursebreon set, I find I am fairly capable of withstanding almost anything that gets thrown at me while taking my time and setting up the Curses I need to decimate the opposition.

Physical Tank: Dusknoir. Awww, yeah. Who doesn't want a big beefy ghost like this on their team? While quite a heavy hitter on his own, I find that the synergy between Dusknoir and Umbreon is not a force to be trifled with. If Umbreon is about to faint, I simply Baton Pass into Dusknoir, who is able to utilize Curse's benefits just as well as Umbreon. Dusknoir's Attack and Defense skyrocket, and the decrease in Speed is not a bother in the least. What's that? Dusknoir is going to attack second? THIS ISN'T NEWS.

Well, I would like to offer my sincerest thanks to those of you who stayed with me to the very end. That's right, all two of you. Now, if you'll excuse me, my poodle is making retching sounds, which means he may have found my Sour Patch Kids again. Until next time!

~Intrigue

Epic Pokemoning Discussion

Aside from all the cosplay I've been doing, I've also been making competitive pokemon teams.

Here are the tools I use:
www.smogon.com-A guide for all things competitive pokemoning. Has a list for all tiers, pokemon, strategies, suggested movesets, suggested natures and their pros/cons, and EV spreads for every strategy.
www.serebii.net-Like a pokedex on steroids. It lists what level pokemon learn every move, methods of evolution, location, egg and move tutor moves, egg groups, EV points given, and all base stats, including pokethlon.
http://pokemon.marriland.com/diamond_pearl/team_builder/-This helps to visualize your team's strengths and weaknesses by type, and can be extremely helpful when trying to choose between two moves for a moveset.
Sometimes I also go on gamefaqs and look for an EV training guide, because they often list EV hotspots.

My buddy and I create teams in a strange way: I do the breeding for correct nature, egg moves, good IVs, and occasionally correct gender. Then I trade all my babies over, and he EV trains them, gives them the agreed upon moveset, and usually gets them leveled up to about 30 or so. Then we split off and each finish leveling on our own, depending on who's using the pokemon. Somehow, each process takes about the same amount of time unless I hit a breeding rut.

I'm currently working on two competitive OU teams and 2 double-battle teams.
One double-battle team was created to combat our friends' Slaking + Victreebel w/Gastro Acid strategy, and the other is a really cool Hail Stall team that's still missing two members.
My OU teams are being made to crush my friend's team. He isn't competitive, really, but that doesn't mean I'm not a tad nervous about losing. I only got into the competitive stuff a few months ago, so I'm crossing my fingers.
I'm not nearly as thorough as Smogon, I'm just giving my opinion on how the listed pokemon work well together and explaining how I use them. For further information on any pokemon or any strange vocabulary I might use, please refer to Smogon first and foremost.

My Pokemon Bring All the Nerds to the Yard

OU Team 1:

Gallade-I've always enjoyed the typing this guy has, and he makes a great anti-lead with extensive coverage from moves like Night Slash, X-Scissor, Close Combat, Ice Punch, and Psycho Cut. For my anti-lead Gallade, however, I added Taunt and Destiny Bond to take out anything using entry hazards, and Shadow Sneak to help against Azelf who resists my STAB move, Close Combat. There isn't a lead in the game that Gallade can't counter with at least Destiny Bond if predicted correctly.

Gliscor-He's usually my dedicated Stealth Rock-er, and with Taunt and Roost, he's just a general annoyance to the opponent. He also has Earthquake for the solid punch it packs against most of the metagame. His typing means he can switch in on several opponents and get a Stealth Rock set up on the switch.

Breloom-I saw the Spore SubPunch moveset, and this entire team was created around it. Something all of my teams invariably have is a pokemon that's so annoying it frustrates the opponent. This is it for this team.

Magnezone-One of the only things I have trouble with is Steel types, and with a Scizor on about 47% of all competitive teams, why not have the best steel-killer in the metagame? Even Steel-types packing Earthquake fear Magnezone, because it can use Magnet Rise and Substitute to stop even Metagross from damaging it significantly. Steel types lacking Shed Shell have to take as many hits as you choose to deal out, and you can choose to switch out whenever you want. He works well with Gliscor, who dodges an EQ aimed at Magnezone and uses its own EQ in retaliation.

Gengar-He's immune to the popular EQ, and has a terrible HP stat, so the SubPain Split set can beat even a stalling Chansey. His access to Shadow Ball and Focus Blast while hiding behind a substitute makes him tough to counter. He blocks Rapid Spin and Explosion for the team. He's just mean all around.

Gyarados-Every team can use a heavy physical hitter, and I've had a Gyarados on nearly every team since my Red version. He has access to a wide range of physical moves, like Waterfall, Bounce, Stone Edge, Ice Fang, Crunch, and EQ, and stats to back them up. However, every Gyarados likes a boost in Attack and Speed. This can be passed to him by another pokemon, but I like to have each pokemon be able to do its thing alone, in case it is alone. So, this Gyarados has his two physical STAB moves, Waterfall and Bounce, and supports itself with Taunt and Dragon Dance.

OU Team 2:

Weavile-Fake Out. Bam, the opposing lead's Sash breaks. From here, I can taunt opponents who want to use entry hazards or set up on Weavile, and take them out with either Night Slash (mostly for Azelf leads) or use Counter after taking a hit from the likes of TTar or Hippowdon.

Togekiss-Remember what I said about using really annoying pokemon? Well, Togekiss with Serene Grace and Air Slash has a 60% chance of causing the opponent to flinch on every single turn. Add in Thunder Wave, Nasty Plot, and Roost, and the opponent may very well give up if they have nothing to counter with.

Lucario-A Swords Dance Lucario is nothing to scoff at, especially after everything's been paralyzed by Togekiss or poisoned by the later-listed Blissey. Close Combat and Ice Punch hit most opponents for massive damage, especially after a Swords Dance or two. Extremespeed rounds off this set with a strong priority move that hits everything bar Ghosts for dependable damage.

Gyarados-Usually I wouldn't have two physical sweepers on one team, but I have a bit of a fire weakness thus far, and opponents don't usually predict more than one physical sweeper on a team.

Blissey-This is actually my Stealth Rock-er for this team. I enjoy throwing off the opponent nearly as much as annoying them, and between Softboiled and Toxic, I can outstall most of the special-based metagame besides. Smogon suggests using Seismic Toss for steady 100 HP damage every turn, but it has to be tutored onto a Chansey in Emerald and traded over. Instead, I'll be using Ice Beam to scare off the dragons and TTar who are overused even in OU.

Salamence-I've always wanted a Mixmence to switch into in tight spots, and this baby is exactly what I need to solidify this team. He covers his Ice weaknesses with Brick Break, has a dependable recovery move in Roost, and can blast away the bulky ground types and fire types I'm fairly weak to with Hydro Pump. Almost no opponent will see that move coming, and even on Salamence, it packs a mighty punch. The last move he has is Draco Meteor, because when the going gets tough, the tough smash the life out of their opponents.

And Now for Something Completely Different

I'd like to talk about Forretress, who is often overlooked. He is possibly my favorite lead, with all three entry hazards available to him as well as Rapid Spin, Explosion, and Payback to counter the ever-present Azelf leads. He's super sturdy, surviving a hit from just about anything that isn't fire, and has a steel type to counter common Azelf counters like TTar and Weavile. Forretress easily lays down Stealth Rock or a layer of spikes on the switch, and can usually take a hit from whatever else switches out.
There is one setup I use so often that I've christened it the "Beatrice" because she was my first Forretress.
Moveset: Stealth Rock, Toxic Spikes, Rapid Spin, and Explosion.
Strategy: STEALTH ROCK-TSPIKES-TSPIKES-RAPID SPIN IF NEEDED-EXPLOSION. My teams tend to be slow stall-type teams, so having two layers of Toxic Spikes down is extremely helpful against pokemon who try to outstall me. With this opening setup, we both lose one pokemon, the difference between us being that he has Stealth Rock and 2 layers of Toxic Spikes on his side of the field, and I have an open field and I've only lost something I planned on losing from the start. It's my annoying defensive pokemon, because that's exactly how I play. Even if it doesn't work exactly, I'll still get some entry hazards on the field, and that was the point in the first place.

Spread the bulky bagworm love!

Now, I'm off to win a bet and work on my boots. Keep it real, internets. ...Or something like that.